Deep at the bottom of my heart...

Really, I'm speechless. What can I do?! I have no idea. 

I really want to get out from this kind of bullshit. I don't want it to happen again on me. I'm really tired. I don't want to feel the pain again. 

Pain till like my whole fingers going to be amputated. 

You don't know the feeling. I wish no one know as no one should have this problem too. 

I loved to go hospital. But NOT as a patient, not as a casualty. I wished I go there as a doctor, someone who come to help people in need. NOT AS A PATIENT. 

I heard... You said... I may have the high possibility to get........ 

I laughed. But deep in my heart, I'm scared. 

I'm worried. Really. I can't concentrate. 

I don't want to lien lei anyone. So, please. I beg you, body, muscles, or anything. Till the end of it, please don't create any problem to me. 

And of course, I had make everyone in a trouble. I don't wish to let anyone worried of me again or anything. And, all, everyone, thanks for helping me during the moments that I need you guys the most. You guys are the best. Thanks a lot and sorry, ma fan you all. Sincerely. 

I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm confuse. I'm sad. 

But I know, I can't give up at this moment. As I trust everything will turns well. 

Cheers girl! =)